The Allure of Despair

The root of all despair is false certainty. It is very tempting, in the course of your journey, to cast about for hard evidence that you are headed in the right direction and that soon all will be well. You will ask a friend or teacher how you are doing, you will compare what you have done to what others you admire have done, you will view some recent success as clear sign that future success is guaranteed.

All these choices lead eventually to despair. Just as it is not possible to look in the mirror and know with certainty what any other person will ever think when they look on that same face, so too is it impossible to find in the present some definite, some absolute, documentable proof that what you wish to occur ever will. So as you look into the waters of the present for proof of the future, the reflecting light and the moving current shows you all the facets of any idea or action, and eventually you choose the worst of all interpretations.

You choose the worst, because THAT is definite. The worst is always the end. The worst is always the apocalypse. So you say, "This work is no good. I'll never be published." Or, "I'm a loser, she'll never love me. No one will ever love me." Whatever the port, you decide it cannot be reached. Thus, the worst always ends the journey, and in so doing ends the uncertainty, which can feel like suffering if it is not embraced.

Do not wait for all to be well. All is well right now, it always has been, it always will be. There is no cosmic fluxuation in the well being of the world or of you. There is only the perception. The world, and you, remain unchanged. So to with your work. Ask only, "Is it what I wanted to say?" If the answer is yes, you are done. If it is no, then there is more work yet to do. That is all. No more, no less. All is well.

And always remember that no step can ever be taken without some faith. You can declare it all over, the end of the world, and yet, barring suicide, you must still wake up the next day and face uncertainty again. Life calls out to you with every wish, every thought, every dream to move forward without knowledge and with an open and hopeful heart.